I want to thank to Reid’s Gift and the Art of Autism for allowing us to be part of its activities. Our craft shows season is more than just sell art work; is a season to share hope and possibilities with parents. I know, not all the kids on the spectrum will be successful, but this is just a matter of perspective. If I compare my son with Autism with the one at a university, well, I can think mine is not successful. We need to measure success based on our child reality and goals.
I really believe that we as parent can make a difference in our child life. I think is a matter of acceptance and perspective. I was there, I was bitter and hating autism, but one day I change my perception. Why? Easy, I can never change reality: my son was diagnosed with Autism when he was 2yrs old. That will never change. I need to change my dreams and hope for a bright future. I’m now concerned with all the hate, and rejection from parents. Why, because as a child psychologist, I know parents holds their child self-esteem on their hands.
Let me put this in a simple way, home is that safe haven where a child gets love, confidence and hope for a better day. If a parent doesn’t see a bright future there is no hope. I’m not talking about curing autism. I’m talking about being realistic. Is your child is deep down on the spectrum? Maybe, well focus on what he can do. Everyone can do something. I remember one child that only knows how to tear paper; well, focusing on abilities, he now creates art using that paper.
I know it’s hard, my son was there. He was that baby that cries, bite, kick and jumped on his bed all night. We discovered an underlying health problem with his stomach and intestine. We have been on treatment for that, not to cure his autism, just to make his life better. Some people said that “cure autism” is the rhetoric of non-acceptance. I differ! For me is identifying what is creating pain, sensory sensibility and bring a better life. Is accepting that there is hope on treatments and with feeling better physically he can focus on his talents.
I also give up many dreams I developed when he was a healthy and on target developing baby. Something happened that his development changes and my dreams needed to change too. There is purpose in everybody’s life; we all are here for something. Just see and use those obsessions to create and develop strengths for your kid.
If it’s hurting, he will cry and kick others because it’s trying to communicate that something is hurting. If does not talk, behavior is always a way of communication. Please keep looking, I was there and after finding his medical problem, he was able to rise and shine.